The New Year

I hope everyone's Christmas was wonderful. We were fortunate and went on a short but well needed vacation to Las Vegas. I think that was our first real family vacation. I was nice to have time with the kids away from life's responsibilities and total attention on them. Though that didn't make it easy at all times having to be mom. I learned that Angelina my 8 year old can get carried away when she is so amused by something that the world is lost and she is so intrigued by what she sees. Eight years I never knew that, does that make me a bad mother? I am happy that Dimitri my 13 year old still likes hanging out with us, but so involved with his image drives me nuts, but again he is 13 years old.
Vacation is good even though it was exhausting physically; mentally I got to forget about the doctors, blood transfusions, and all the rest. Am I a bad mother because I let my kids eat red meat? I wanted them to feel free for a brief moment in their lives as well. They still had to take medication, but I wanted them to enjoy the vacations freedom as well.
I have been so involved in everything for the kids and that is not a bad thing, but I have forgotten everything about myself that I carry a baggage of exhaustion, than happiness. I have to say the trip reminded me that there was a time I used to be a woman and not just a robot. I have been doing my best all week to dress up nice and wear make-up. I am not a jewelry person, but I will put on rings and bracelets to spunk up my look. Instead of buying everything my kids need with any extra money I have in my pocket I splurged and bought a work-out set. I promised myself that I will start taking care of myself I just keep watching the Amber I once knew fade away and I have to give my kids hope not depression. My point is it is ok to be a little selfish here and there. You can even ask for help (that coming from me is funny, I am so independent that it drives those around me crazy) a support group maybe to make a meal for your family on blood transfusion day, I always come back tired. Maybe when you are having a bad day dealing with everything maybe a friend can help clean your house while you take time away to cry it out; or a spouse willing to help you get some time out to take a yoga class. Whatever your thing is BREATH!

Here is to the New Year may your children be free of any complications and Healthy. May us parents find the strength to walk away to take care of ourselves and come back stronger. HAPPINESS, HAPPINESS, HAPPINESS!!!! All the love to you and your families!